Pre and post adolescent girls can be wickedly mean. Rachel Simmons’s 2008 book Odd Girl Out explains this phenomenon in term of relational aggression (RA), behavior wreaking havoc by damaging or manipulating relationships within a peer group. As opposed to other (especially male) types of bullying, relational aggression is not overt. It is harder to detect than physical aggression but every bit as devastating if not more so. Homeopathic remedies can undermine the social tensions lending themselves to RA bulling.
Girls involved in relational aggression typically fall into one or another roles I will discuss. The categories are adapted from http://www.d11.org/pip/Parents/Mean%20Girls.pdf. A homeopathic remedy able to defuse each role’s raison d’etre is suggested (others are possible). My approach works at the level of the individual, reversing harm done and supporting the girl’s psyche so that she can withstand resist relational aggression’s gravitational pull. In the future provided logistics can be overcome, it is hoped that key remedies are introduced into school settings so that the issue of RA can be dealt with at a public health level.
In particular, Magnesium Muriaticum and Magnesium Carbonicum that treat terror of the loss of a relationship are key. So is Lycopodium, a remedy addressing insecurity stoking the feeling that interactions always have winners and losers.
The Queen
Supremely confident and able to manipulate her friends. Charming, unintimidatable. Rules a clique by force of personality. Demanding of loyalty. Disarming to adults (who are taken in). Does not feel responsible for the hurt feelings of those beneath her.
Remedy Lachesis
The Sidekick
Although she sees the Queen as ultimate authority advises her as to how to dress, think, feel, etc. In this way she partakes of the power. The price she pays is suppressing her genuine opinions, lying for the Queen and being pushed around by her.
Remedy: Cinnabaris
The Gossip
With a nurturing personality but secretive. Readily befriending of others who willingly share their secrets with her. She makes opportune use of private information for social gain. Rarely excluded but deeply implicated in RA.
Remedy: Natrum Muriaticum
The Floater
A girl who moves freely among groups and dislikes conflict due to being easy going. Not competitive and naïve, but with sufficient self-esteem to stand up to the Queen. If lucky she can fly under the radar.
Remedy: Berylium
The Bystander
Is a girl for whom the loss of a relationship equates with the withdrawal of love. May even hide her academic accomplishments so as not to draw unwelcome attention to herself as separate from her peers.
Remedies: Magnesium Carbonicum and Magnesium Muriaticum
The Wannabee
Feels compelled to fit in. Other girls’ opinions and wants supercede her own.
A chamelion desperate to look perfectly correct in her garb, hairstyle and bearing. Loves to gossip—phone and email are vital to her. Subconsciously invested in hiding her poor self-esteem.
Remedy: Thuja
The Target
She is a scapegoat, an anger expression valve for other girl’s resentments.
Excluded, helpless and isolated. In the course of masking her own hurt feelings she attracts victimization scenarios.
Remedy: Lac Caninum
As they never quite say in television commercials, talk to your homeopath about addressing trauma resulting from relational aggression!